Make a list of things that make you happy. I have many lists. Lists of things to do today. Lists of things to do everyday. Lists of books to read or listen to. Lists of things to buy. Lists of errands to run. Lists of what I should make for supper. Lists of bills to pay. Lists of projects I'm working on. Lists of consciousness tools I (should) use. Lists of clearings I'm repeating to become more aware and conscious. Lists of targets I'd like to reach and all the things I need to do to reach them. Lists to help me remember what I should do each day to guarantee a better day. I'm a list girl. I keep all my lists in my super handy bullet journal. I started today in the kindest way. I slept in. I went to my new yoga class. I came home and fed myself. Then I thought to myself I better get at my lists. Go through and track the things I've done and get doing all those things that are so good for me. Good for me = kind, right? It's good for me to do my clearings, read my kindness questions and mantras, listen to my consciousness courses... Only it felt so heavy today (and honestly it has for a few days). I was upset with myself for not wanting to do all these things that are so "good for me". I have all these voices in my head that tell me to be responsible, do what I'm supposed to, and I should be working on my business because isn't making money the top priority right now?? (Especially since I quit my job-more on that later) I internally chastised myself, these things just need to be done, you'll be all the better for it, Becky. Yes, I know, very kind. Today, instead of getting at it I paused. I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths. I asked: "what would make me happy". Checked that list. Compared the lists and adjusted accordingly. Kind. About a month ago I had the idea that I'd like to make a journal out of re-use paper. Today, I spilled the paper on the floor and created. I feel so expanded and happy today. I have a sense of being me. I feel so grateful to me for the slight course correction I made and the internal freedom I created for myself because of it. I think there is a unspoken rule in our society that there is only a little bit of some days that are for doing what's fun or what makes us happy. Maybe it's an algorithm. The rest of the time we must do what is right and proper and what someone else has deemed important. Who are these someones that deemed and what gave them so much power to be deeming all of this?
What would it take for me to do what makes me happy, only all day, every day? In Kindness, Becky
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Well, when you first begin a blog, what do you write? I'm sure there are many ways to begin but I shall begin like this...
I love to write. I write everyday. Everyday something glorious comes out of my pen and appears on the page. (except for the days when it doesn't) I have been a seeker for sometime now... I found this great definition of seeker on Urban Dictionary. Seeker: someone who has become enlightened in the ways of the universe by accepting they know nothing about it. This seems to fit me. Everyday I write in the hopes that I might be a little more aware of me and my place in the universe. I'm not sure if it's working but I love the process of writing and the expanded feeling I have when I do it. I love when the energy seems to expand out of me and the separation between me and everything around me gets blurry. I love when that energy moves and all of a sudden I can take a breath that is deeper by far than the ones before. So I'm a seeker and a writer. What else.. Kindness. I think if you asked almost anyone who knows me one of the first things they would offer as a descriptor of me would be "kind". Really! Ask anyone. Now self kindness, that's a little different. I've been becoming increasingly aware, lately, that I am generally not that kind to myself. The things I say to myself. The things I allow for myself. Not kind. When I look in the mirror. Not kind. When I look back at what I did today or 3 weeks ago. Not kind. When I examine my progress or performance. Not Kind. I have this little song going through my head from when I was little, it went something like this: I want to be kind to everyone, For that is right you see, So I say to myself, remember this- Kindness begins with me. "Kindness begins with me." I must be kind to me me. This is where all kindness begins. And here begins My Kindness Project: a major undertaking to discover what it is to be kind to me. I'm not sure what this will look like. What will it take to be kind to myself each day? What can I do today that will be a kindness to me? I asked and wondered. I took a nap, ate, and began to write this. Where will this take me? What fun will I have? Maybe you'd like to come along for the ride? Becky |
"Be kind to yourself, dear - to our innocent follies.
Forget any sounds or touch you knew that did not help you dance. You will come to see that all evolves us." Rumi Beckywriter, artist, seeker, kindness enthusiast Archives
December 2016
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